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Because people are asking now...

Yes, he has a name.
No, we're not using it (so no, I'm not telling you if you don't already know).

Yes, we're registered - at Babies R Us and Target.
No newborn sized stuff. C'mon now, look at his father. LOOK AT THE WOOKIE. No newborn sizes.

Yes, Independence Day is on and I'm going back to the couch now.

Jul. 20th, 2013

I bought school supplies today. OMG. I haven't bought supplies for school in so long. I had to buy a pencil pouch and everything.

Guys, it was overwhelming.

They make binders that have three cover panels - the 3rd one folds out and it's a fucking folder in there.


And is it okay for me to put glittery stickers all over the covers of my notebooks? I kind of want to spell out YOU'RE FIRED! on my HR/Payroll one.

Classes start next month, but I couldn't wait any longer. You all understand. That's why I love you.

Quick Car Crisis: AVERTED

Okay, so I have to tell you about Gary's misadventure yesterday.

We stop at the gas station on the way out of town, and everything is peachy. An hour later, we roll up in front of Alyssa's house, I put the car in park and the key won't come out of the ignition.

I turn the car back on, roll it back and forth, try again. Nope. Key will not budge. We throw a sweater over the steering wheel so that it covers the key (and helps keep the steering wheel from reaching a bajillion degrees) and I use the remote to lock the car.

Same deal when we get home - except I park in the garage instead of outside.

This morning, I hopped on ye olde Google and search "key stuck in ignition focus." In my mind, I'm thinking, shit, this is going to cost a few hundred bucks to fix, new ignition... on the up side, new keys (I lost my spare a couple of years ago - might be at mom's house?).

But this video is the first thing that pops up:

"Hmm," I think. "Can it really be this simple of a fix?" An agonizing 9 hours later (waiting sucks!) we get home and I hop into the car and sure enough! That stupid thing slid down. I twist it back up, turn the key, give a yank and LO! KEY COMES OUT! Hot damn!

I maybe did the "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" dance right there in front of the entire neighborhood (garage door was open). I was just that happy.

So, word to the wise, all ye Focus people (and who knows, maybe this happens to other people, too), if your key gets stuck, check the thingy on your gear shifter. I guess the shaft slipping down prevents the car from recognizing that it is actually for-really-reals in park.

Thank you, YouTube guy!


A How-To Recipe for 5-Minute Salsa

So, you want to make some salsa.


It's not that hard.Collapse )


This guy calls and he's trying to get us to buy into some web search service (ie: pay us money and we'll make you one of the "sponsored results" on Google/Yahoo/Bing/etc). Here's his big sell...

"Ma'am, did you know that there are literally MILLIONS of people using the internet today?"

No... really!? I HAD NO IDEA.

Liar Puppies

3hr35min to go.

Scratch that. 3hr34min to go.

brb getting rest XP before midnight launch.
Dear Most Awesome Shoes I've Ever Had,

I'm going to miss you. You were with me for almost four and a half years, which is pretty damn good considering you're a size too big and came from Payless. We've had some good times, though, and believe me when I say that no other shiny shoes can ever, ever take your place. I mean, you were there for me on my wedding day. If I could have, I would have made you my Maid(s) of Honor.

There just comes a time when I have to say good-bye, though. You were barely hanging on, as I noticed today while having a pee. And your sparkles have fallen off to reveal your underthings. And I can poke my fingers from the inside out around the sole. It's time. To quote Will Smith in "Independence Day"... I've got "nothin' but love for you, baby, nothin' but love."

Disco Ball Shoes, you will be missed. May you rest in peace and fabulosity at the county dump.




I've decided to put things back up on Etsy.

They are in the process of rolling out a new payment process that will allow me to not have to rely on Paypal for payments. Me gusta.

I have to sell the stuff I'm making otherwise it will turn into a huge monster and take over every room of this house. Cozy as that would be, apparently my husband thinks this could be a problem. Party pooper.

But my second goal is to take a percentage of each sale and roll it into fundraising (ie: my auntie's Avon Walk for Breast Cancer team, Dru's Light the Night, etc). Or, if no one is trying to raise money, then Kiva!

It is 100% empty and I'm too tired to start populating it tonight, but bookmark The Cause Crochet and check back in a few days, okay? Earrings and other odds & bobs should be up before we head off to Carlsbad on Saturday.


You know what?

Chicken butt.

The 2012 Book Log of Awesome

The goal this year is to read 75 books.

1. "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" by Stieg Larsson
2. "The Girl Who Played with Fire" by Stieg Larsson
3. "The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest" by Stieg Larsson
4. "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (and other concerns)" by Mindy Kaling
5. "Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons" by Lorna Landvik
6. "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" by Tucker Max
7. "Lamb" by Christopher Moore
8. "Bossypants" by Tina Fey
9. "Good Christian Bitches" by Kim Gatlin
10. "You Better Knot Die" by Betty Hechtman
11. "Behind the Seams" by Betty Hechtman
12. "Vanity, Vengeance & A Weekend in Vegas" by Kyra Davis
13. "Ali in Wonderland (and other tall tales)" by Ali Wentworth
14. "The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance" by Elna Baker
15. "The Path of Daggers" by Robert Jordan
16. "Sacre Bleu" by Christopher Moore
17. "The Limpopo Academy of Private Detection" by Alexander McCall Smith

(Wow, I'm really not doing so great this year in the book department! C'mon, let's pick up the pace!)